The Cabal Between Dryer Sheets and Frugal Websites Exposed

Have you come across frugal websites that are all about the second coming of Christ in the form of a dryer sheet? Is it me, or do these people seem to think that a dryer sheet can be used for anything? You might be thinking that this is stretching the limits of the “personal finance” genre–but listen, I didn’t start this crusade. If I have to read another post about how wonderful dryer sheets are I am going to lose it. Let me just show you some of the things I’ve been told dryer sheets can be used for, the more reasonable of which I’ve even tested at home, just to see if there’s any value to these posts. Read below for examples as well as my commentary.

1. A sheet will repel mosquitoes on your patio. Hang a sheet when outdoors during the mosquito season.–Where to start? First of all, I don’t have mosquitoes (thankfully), but even if I did? This can repel mosquitoes? Either you’re wrong because duh, it’s a dryer sheet, or holy hell why am I putting mosquito repellent in my underwear?
2. Eliminates static electricity from your television and computer screen. Fabric softener sheets are designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television and computer screen with a used sheet to keep dust from resettling.–Yes, but televisions and computer screens are designed to be transparent, unlike, say, your socks. I’ll use a screen cleaner for that, thanks.
3. A sheet can be used to dissolve soap scum from shower doors, and the tile walls. Clean the surfaces with a sheet.–FALSE. I tried it. Did not work.
4. A fragranced sheet can be used to freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet in a drawer, hang one in the closet, locker at the health club, locker at work or under the seat of your car or truck. Leave several in the RV or camper while it’s in storage.–Seems reasonable, but do you really need this much freshening? Maybe when Mini is a teenager I will revisit this claim.
5. A sewing needle run through a sheet prior to sewing, can prevent the thread from tangling.–Wait. What?
6. A sheet left inside suitcase luggage or travel baggage can prevent musty odors. Place a single sheet inside the empty luggage before storing.–You know what else can prevent musty odors in your luggage? Not putting water and microorganisms in there before you store it.
7. Fabric softener sheets are claimed to clean baked on foods from cooking pots and pans. Place a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight. Next morning sponge it clean. The antistatic agent apparently weakens the bond between the stuck on food between the pot or pans surface. The fabric softening agents helps to soften the baked on food. I was going to try this, and then I realized I would have to cook something in a pot or a pan and I grew weary. Also, I didn’t want to poison myself, so scratched that idea.
8. Use dryer sheets to keep out mice, skunks, squirrels, rats, etc from your basement, garages, boats, campers, and clubhouses.–?!?! Also, see #1.
9. Placing a sheet at the bottom of the wastebasket, helps eliminate odors found in wastebaskets. Placing an individual sheet at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper will accomplish the same results.–OK, this one seems reasonable. But if you need to use it for a laundry bag or a hamper, maybe it’s time to just wash the thing?
10. Collecting pet hairs. Rubbing the area with a sheet will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.–Eureka! Something that works! But so does a brush, or a roller, or any wet paper towel. So, you know.
11. Eliminating static electricity from venetian blinds and window coverings. Wipe the blinds with a sheet is said to prevent dust from resettling.–Said “to prevent dust from resettling” by whom? Maybe if you washed your blinds off with a dryer sheet, and then stuck it into a hermetically sealed bubble this would work. As long as there were no animals or people in the bubble, that is. Listen, I used the dryer sheet to dust off my shutters, and it did work. But so does a feather duster. I’m not sure this is any better, and a feather duster is cheaper and “greener.”
12. Wiping up sawdust, on the shop workbench, from drilling or sandpapering is easy. A used sheet will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.–Well, I don’t have any of these things, so I used the next best thing: detritus from my foot file. (I know, gross! TMI!) And it wipes it up, alright, but it doesn’t stick to it or anything, so it’s a no-go for me.
13. They will take the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.–Again, odor on books and photo albums? Where are you keeping them? Because I think you might have a larger problem to contend with here if these things are really smelly.
14. Placing a sheet in your shoes or sneakers overnight, will help to deodorize them and as a result they will smell much better in the AM.–I’m sure this is true. Another tactic involves regular baths and socks, though.
15. Used dryer sheets will clean your iron – just run the iron over it on medium heat.–I have not tried this. It seems likely to work, though.
16. Place (or tape) a dryer sheet on your HVAC vents to scent the air circulating through your home. You can even place one alongside your filter in your central heating unit to distribute the scent. Also works on ceiling fans, and on the back of box/portable fans.–Maybe you should remove the dead body from underneath your floorboards before you try this, though.
17. Scrub incoming dogs or cats (especially wet ones) with a dryer sheet before the come back into your home. You can also place one in your litter box to cut down on odors.–Uggh. Why don’t you rub a dryer sheet all over yourself after a shower and see how your skin reacts, you animal abusing freak! I pity your animals.
18. “We use dryer sheets tied to new trees and shrubs, to keep deer from nibbling the ends of branches and new growth. Just one tied anywhere in the branches seems to work.”–?!?!
19. Use dryer sheets to add texture to cards, scrapbooks, etc. Yes, this will match nicely with pipe cleaner men and the necklaces you make out of macaroni.
20. Keep a fabric-softener sheet in your pillow case and under your mattress or mattress pad for sweet dreams of summer all year ‘round.–????
21. Keep your used dryer sheets in your diaper bag, and roll one up in the diaper to prevent odors before you have to chance to throw it away.–Wait. You keep dirty diapers in your diaper bag? You know that’s not what it’s for, right?

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