I think some of you might be waiting for me to comment on the rather large controversy that happened last week between me and Heather Armstrong 
. I certainly understand this curiosity; however, except in a general way, I don’t plan to do this. In this section of my blog, I am always trying to remain as objective as possible to the issues I discuss. Although I may not always succeed in this, I do always try. On this particular topic, I have no objective feelings: therefore, it would be impossible to even attempt an objective analysis of the facts. What I decided to do, therefore, is make some general observations about online controversies that might serve as a usable takeaway for the people who come here to read about the business of blogging. See below.
1. There is a fraction of the audience who loves a fight.
Controversy for controversy’s sake is something that is greatly appealing to a portion of people. Temporary attention and traffic comes along with this.
2. There is a fraction of the audience who hates a fight.
Controversy of any kind is something that is repugnant to a portion of people. Temporary attention and traffic loss comes along with this.
3. It is more common to feel before thinking.
Most people to react to a controversy based on their feelings about the issues discussed and/or participants in the controversy before they weigh any kind of argument. It is unusual for a first reaction to a controversy to be based on logic over feelings. Though opinions might change over time, it is futile to attempt to inject a logical argument (for either side) into the overall reaction to controversy, because it mostly operates outside of logic. The process of uncovering all of the nuances of a disagreement takes far too long to uncover for most observers to bother.
4. Controversy is, generally speaking, not an effective online traffic-building tool.
Traffic spikes that result from controversy tend to be temporary (with a very few exceptions). This is true whether you are at the heart of the controversy, or if you are merely weighing in on the controversy from the sidelines. People come to figure out what happened. Then they leave. Most of them will not return unless their controversy-driven visit to your site happens to result in them finding something they had not found before. Therefore, if you are hoping to cash in by being part of a controversy, or weighing in on a controversy, this is probably not going to happen.
5. The only way to avoid controversy is not to blog.
While it is true that some bloggers attract controversy more than others, there is no way of putting your life and your opinions on the internet (or any other portion of the public sphere) without putting yourself at risk for controversy. People will develop good and bad opinions of you and your thoughts regardless. Some of these might be articulated in a blog post someday, and still others may not ever see the light of day. Even the most universally beloved bloggers have found themselves the targets of criticism on occasion — that is part of the business.
6. You cannot control criticism, but you can control how you react to it.
Given that criticism and controversy is a part of blogging, if you find yourself at the heart of a controversy, there is no point in attempting to shut it down or control it in any way. The only thing that you can do is accept it, and base all further actions on those things that you can control. Despite how it may feel, you can control what you do in the face of criticism, and you can control what you do when you’re in a storm of controversy. Decide what your best-case scenario is — given the current circumstances — and act accordingly. If you’re too close to it to decide, ask a trusted friend or, better, an uninvolved observer, for their take on your best course of action.
Finally, to all of you who have sent your support, and to those of you who continue to read here, please know that I am so grateful to have a community of readers who are interested in discussing these topics with me. The number one most common comment I receive from readers contains the words, “I don’t always agree with you, but . . .”, and I cannot imagine having it any other way. So thank you.
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I found it really frustrating to watch, because lack of logic frustrates me (even though I am certain I am less than logical at times. Or always). Hope you’re okay. Also, in the face of everything, this is a very sensible list that I’ll probably refer back to.
I tried to keep up with the whole thing as it was happening and was kind of surprised at how demeaning it got on Heather’s end. Ok, maybe demeaning isn’t the right word, but she definitely came across as that popular girl in high school who knew she was fighting a loosing battle, but still gathered her little cheerleader friends around her to boost her numbers. Rather pathetic, really… especially when she’s got a daughter who’s about to hit that age where bullying starts to become a big problem.
By the end of it, I was reminded why I stopped following her on Twitter & barely ever visit her blog anymore – she doesn’t really have anything of substance to say. Great, she went on a trip for a charity and met some interesting people… but why all the ‘I’ statements? It would have been a great opportunity for some actual stories on the people she met.
Anyway, I was really impressed with your stand on this, Anna… just wanted to make sure I mentioned that
yep.
yes.
I don’t always agree with you but…!
I am only slightly aware of the fracas because I haven’t been online much recently. HOWEVER… I think you are sharp, interesting, I love your observations and I hold no truck with people who cry ‘troll’ at the merest hint of dissent.
I will continue to read and (I hope!) be provoked by you. What a dull little world we’d live in without challenge.
As someone who usually agrees with you, excellent points you’ve made here AND there. You kept it clean, on topic and rational. Handling conflict maturely is a VITAL life skill to be achieved by the time one reaches adulthood. I think we KNOW I wish other bloggers would get to that state of adulthood ASAP. That’s a mighty fine pack of mad dogs you have tracking you across the internet. Mighty fine.
*Walks away whistling the theme from Rocky. *
I think you do provoke people. It’s not a bad thing. I do the same, except I don’t blog. And I think you (like me) expect people to be smarter and able to think critically. But, critical thinking skills are not most people’s strong suit. How could promoting a maternal health organization be a bad thing? It’s not. But to you, to me, and actually to many others whose voices are popping up now that the witch hunt is simmering down, it’s also not a black and white matter where helping = good. People want a quick easy answer. Click here, send five bucks, pat yourself on the back for being “aware” and call it a day. Buy a pair of shoes and show the world that you are “aware”. Critical thinking requires you to dig below the surface and not to blindly take everything at face value, even if what’s presented on the surface seems good and right.
One question I haven’t seen raised is why Dooce chose this particular organization as her public jumping off point for publicly acknowledged charitable work. (I would like to assume she has been supporting other charities and organizations quietly behind the scenes up to this point). Why this and not an organization to support PPD or other mental health issues, both of which have brought her many, many followers? If global maternal health issues really have her fired up now, well, ok. It just comes across as star crossed and a little naive. If the end result puts money into the pockets of the organization (and come on, let’s face it, it’s not awareness they need but cold hard cash), then all the better. But for many, at this point, Every Mother Counts + Dooce = Twitter War. I can’t imagine the director of the program isn’t cringing.
I wish Maytag would send you a free washer and dryer after this week.
This post is going to disappoint a whole lot of people. Don’t you know what your role is here?
Fortunately, there are others who are filling the void by writing inflammatory posts to try to grab a piece of the traffic.
I thought you handled that twitter feud admirably. There were many times where I would have just given up and started insulting right back (ie. when Mike_FTW got into it) but I was truly impressed with your restraint.
This is a great follow-up, Anna. Spot on and the very best response to what happened – as you said, no one can really think about the specifics of this whole brouhaha objectively for a long time, and many will never even try.
To echo the others, I don’t always agree with you, but I really appreciate the level of dialogue that very often takes place here and your desire to think critically about what goes on in the world of mommy blogging/tweeting.
Wishing you some peace this week after the craptastic one that came before.
It was hard for me to keep up with it all, but one thing that was very clear to me, was that she was looking to fight and you were just one of her targets. I would like to point out that she read my entire blog ( know her IP) scouting for things that had been said about her (not much at all), right before she unleashed her dogs onto you. I think she was looking at getting some people to tell her how right and awesome she is, and that IS her brand.
I was very impressed with your restraint.
Lastly I have to add all these people who kept popping up writing entries in defense of her are the worst. Some would post a picture of them 5+ year ago at blogher or some other function. or say they’ve spoken to her once as if this makes the BFF’s.
When crazy things happen to them, is dooce writing a entry for them? Is Dooce on her twitter attacking others for their sake,?NO. It’s not going to happen. Unless it effects her directly, as in soften’s her hard edges, or she thinks there’s some money to be made from it, she’s NOT going to do it.
I did come across your blog because of the twitter fista cuffs. I appreciate that you made me think critically. Sometimes I am too quick to accept things at face value without thinking too deeply about it. I will continue reading because of it. Thanks.
It’s clear you are moderating these comments. I thought you were awful, and you *have* provoked people in petty, unkind ways for years.
And what’s wrong with her moderating her comments!!!?? Dooce and Jon sure do!!!!!! Believe me, they didn’t get the blanket support you think they did, they simply didn’t post anything negative.
I’m not sure this matters, but FTR I’m not moderating comments. They should be going through automatically. I generally don’t moderate comments unless a fight or a pile-on erupts in the comments.
Oh I have so MANY things to say but I’ll try to keep it simple. I think Heather’s attitude is disingenuous. “Awareness” doesn’t cure cancer or help people in other countries. MONEY does, and she has a ton of it. I said it on another blogger’s entry too, but…to me, Dooce is the TOMS shoes of bloggers. If you want to help people, actually HELP THEM.
yep!!
As someone who likes to regularly make jokes about how she has no ass, Heather Armstrong sure does spend an awful lot of time getting butt hurt. #notasimportantasyouthinkyouare
I think #3 is at the heart of this brouhaha because while I don’t think your original comments deserved the level of meltdown it received (especially since you didn’t specifically direct your comment to her) I do think the tweets showed a lack of sensitivity towards a cause that is important to her. It’s kind of like calling someone’s baby ugly – even if the baby is ugly, most people wouldn’t say so…..the truth being a secondary or tertiary social value. Dooce in particular seems pretty hotheaded about trivial things (tile, washing machines, her hair) and this is a big thing to her. So while you have a real point about motivations, bloggers doing 3rd world charity, etc., I don’t think you had to say it in the way you did and when you did.
But omg, the freak out over this and the hypocritical personal attacks while insisting it was for the good of her Noble Cause is funny in how well it’s proving how the whole thing is about her and not the good she could do with her “brand” or “platform”. Kinda your original point, right?
In all of this, it would be interesting to read an analysis on blogger charitable work and the engagement of the audience thereof….this might be terrible of me but I’m actually not interested at all in entertainment/lifestyle bloggers charitable work. I read their blogs for escapism not for social engagement. There are plenty of blogs that focus on heavier topics exclusively and it would be weird if one day the authors of those blogs decided to tell me a funny story about their dog’s poop (and then complained when someone said it wasn’t all that funny actually). So while I appreciate the sentiment of bloggers being frustrated about being boxed in by their blog’s particular story, I do think there’s a piece here about knowing one’s audience and determining how effective these kinds of blogs are in bringing new donorship to any particular charity. My guess is that it’s a spike and then very little sustained engagement. I don’t know – interesting question anyway.
I don’t want to comment on all of these…I wish you had a LIKE button, lol.
I guess I’m one of those exceptions. I don’t read Dooce, but I caught the edges of the dust-up from PlainJane. I read a few of the tweets, then started browsing your archives. I think I’m going to stick around a bit, so, Hi.
Sorry, I haven’t read all the comments so sorry if I repeat something.
I came here looking for clarification, because I am not sure what the heck was going on. I read an post (tweeted by Melissa from Suburban Turmoil) regarding this. I didn’t get through the whole thing, because, again, I didn’t understand what the author was getting at. Why were you and another blogger called a troll? As I see it you were giving an opinion. What I am finding that when you give an opinion against someone who is seen as popular or powerful then you are called nasty names. That other blogger went to another blog (sorry, I can’t keep up with all the names, but I think it was Mom 101) and “explained” herself. Basically, conceding that she was wrong. Why? An opinion is just that an opinion. We can all agree to disagree and even blog about it, but why does it have to get nasty.
Psst…the only reason I went to Dooce was because I wanted to know what was going on. I don’t get the trip or the blog post. Maybe I am too dumb for the blogsphere.
Also, I wanted to jump in and tell Dooce, on Twitter, that you did write a full post about meeting her, but didn’t know if it was my place. And I will, also, admit I don’t need a bunch of mommy bloggers coming my way. I like my little quiet place on the web, so I applaud you, Anna, for taking the heat. Most of us wouldn’t and I think that is what “they” like.
I never read your blog/tweets until I caught wind of the fracas last week. I was astonished at how hard Dooce came down on you. Your description of ‘flying monkeys’ was spot on. It’s rather disgusting that Heather can ‘release the hounds’ and her husband/slobbering uber fans will do her bidding. Cyber bullying at its best/worst? As far as the charity work, more power to her…but I was turned off when she mentioned on her trip back about being disgusted by the disparity between the Kardashians and Bangladesh. Really? She didn’t need to go as far as the Kardashians. Just look at the many posts and pics of her own home. The Kardashians don’t have a monopoly on excess. I also dislike companies that require online readers to click on their ad or make their company the reader’s homepage (looking at you yahoo!) in order to donate money to a charity. If the company has money to donate, do it! Don’t call it a donation if you are actually paying for advertisements. The End. (Love your blog. You are now bookmarked.)
I think you’re a crazy b*itch but you’ll moderate this comment, so no one will know the truth.
Wow, Jason. And you sound perfectly rational and lovely. Happy 4th!
I’m going to put this out there in a simple way you will be able to understand: Jason, you’re a fucking idiot.
Team ABDPBT!!!
That is all.
So I read Dooce…quite a lot actually. I find her amusing, though I do not like her design style at all and wish that all the photos of her office, bathroom, etc. were left out of the blog. I had no clue a “feud” was going on until her post on it. So I googled…and googled…and googled…and good God, you would not believe the amount of blogs that have weighed in on this!!
Well anyway, I eventually came across the actual tweets and let me just say I was completely confused. Almost all the blogs, with the exception of one that I came across before giving up reading the blogs on the subject, were going on and on about what a horrible thing this Anna Viele person was and the TERRIBLE things that she said about Heather Armstrong. But when I read the tweets, I didn’t see that at all. I saw Anna being sarcastic. And then I saw Heather flying off the handle and sending out her cronies to gang up on Anna.
This probably won’t stop me from reading Dooce, because hey I find her amusing, but I’ll also be reading Anna now, because I love me some sarcasm. Also I’m starting to see Dooce for what she really is, and I hope everyone else does too.
You know, I have to preface this by saying I have never really gotten Twitter. I mean, I get it, but I feel like I am missing something. Like an entire backstory, most of the time. So, I find myself on there less and less, but last week, I went on, and clicked over to your feed, just to catch up, and I had no idea that all this Dooce shizzle (Dooshizzle? Doocegate?) went down. But if I might, calling another legitimate and established blogger who critiques the mommy blogosphere and the money around it a troll seems not only grossly unfair, but also grossly irresponsible. Because all the venom each reader has to the jackass who wrote an actual anonymous troll comment on their blog will come out against you. I know in my corner of the mommy blogosphere, which is the grieving mother corner, those trolls come on grieving mother sites and tell them that they deserved to have their children die, and things that are worse than that. Worse. So, troll inspires in me feeling of anger, hurt, pain, and desires of flinging anonymous arrows at anyone associated with the troll.
So to equate your (and the Guardian’s) questioning of who is funding what with trolling seems not only an overreaction, but also an all out assault on any criticism of Planet Dooce. Just standing in solidarity even though I am on vacation and not supposed to be commenting on anything.
Beautifully articulated, Angie – very real perspective on what ‘trolling’ actually is – so glad you came out of vacation retirement to comment.
This entire controversy disgusted me because I am a social worker. I’m not sure what Dooce thought she was trying to prove for her cause by fighting and screaming and shouting all over twitter, but she missed the point completely. And then she wrote another post, in which she starts out talking about the bravery and outspoken-ness of the women she met (great!) and goes on to use this as a platform to explain WHY she put up such a fight on twitter! I further found it interesting that she uses the outspoken nature of these women to justify her own hostile outburst, but has no problem letting her followers insist on Annas silence, simply because they didn’t like what she was saying. I mean, wow.
Somewhere in the mess of this fight, this fight that Dooce claimed was all about her cause and the women behind it, the cause itself was lost completely and that is sad. But that point is lost completely on Dooce.
Here is what social workers do, when we are criticized while promoting a cause: We ignore it, and focus all our energy on the cause and deal with the critic behind the scenes, because the cause is the star, not us.
That said, I don’t think Anna did anything wrong. She has the right to her opinion and she has the right to state it in a pubic forum and she has the right to disagree. Loudly.
Dooce claimed that acting professional is not her thing like this was a badge of honor and hey, I’m sure that for her blog that plays great. But in the world of charity work and social work, it doesn’t play at all. If you want to bring awareness to a cause, who you are and how you behave matters. So Dooce, when you read this, please do your causes a favor and consider that. No one cares if the women of your cause themselves would be cheering you on. No one cares if their outspoken, strong natures gave you the strength to be outspoken (which is bullshit, you have ALWAYS been outspoken). What does this twitter/blog fight have to do with their issues and concerns and needs? Not one damn thing.
World causes don’t need arguments, they need money. Consider that.
Anna, I love your blog!
“…the cause is the star, not us.”
Yes. Thank you.
All this time I’ve been trying to remember what this whole thing reminded me of, and the “the cause is the star, not us” comment finally helped me find it.
Did you see that episode of The Real Housewives of New York, where they were supposed to be marching for marriage equality, and Sonja made it all about her, and got mad at anyone who tried to talk about marriage equality instead of HER CONTRIBUTION (of general fabulosity or whatever) to marriage equality? And everyone who questioned what her her deal was was “attacking her?”
That. Except Sonja could probably blame the alcohol if she wanted to.
Also, MEAN TWEETS!
Thanks, Anna, and rational commenters (those of you who are being balanced and rational), for summing this up for me. I missed most of the latest Dooce-losing-her-cool controversy (just saw the tip of the iceberg via Mom 101′s post). But you’ve saved me wading deep into yet another slimy blog/Twitter quagmire, wasting a lot of time, and feeling incredibly misanthropic and dirty at the end of it. Yes: “The cause is the star!” Just Me, that’s a great thought for future “cause” bloggers/Third World tourists to bring with them on their travels. If the cause is important, how can they help promote IT and not themselves?
Right on. This is exactly what I thought after reading Dooce’s last post about Bangladesh, I just found it rather pathetic that she used her “impressions” about impoverished Bangladeshi women to justify her behavior. It’s disgusting and not the first time she’s behaved this way.
It’s a shame that something good really could have come out of her trip had it been handled in a different way from the very beginning, now it’s just another example of how social media and blogs can bring out the worst in people.
I used to really like Dooce’s blog– back when she first started. She was funny. Now she is a bit of a self-serving, pretentious whiney-butt and, while I am sure she DOES have ‘real’ problems, she doesn’t seem to really appreciate just how good she has it!
I would LOVE to be able to stay at home and work when I felt and go to the gym and be with my husband and go to a shrink’s appt w/o worrying about the cost and take a picture of my dog balancing something on his head and have an assistant AND a babysitter and on and on and on…. if she had to work in the REAL world and deal with her problems on a REAL world level… it would be a fail of epic proportions.
Like another comment before me– I read blogs for entertainment/escapism or to get an idea of how to handle an issue in my life. Dooce just goes too far sometimes.
I thought your participation in this whole thing was WAYYYYY beneath you. I have been a huge fan of your site for as long as I can remember. Mostly the commodity fetishism. I live by it actually. And you’re funny. And I cried at the posts where you lost your pets. You seem smart and sensitive. And I guess I just don’t GET why you acted the way you did? I mean we’re all human, and I have acted like an ass many many MANY times. I was just surprised is all. And, I will always still read your blog and love your site. If we were friends I would just say “why did you GO there??”
Because of the First Amendment. Anna is not the devil and Heather is not Mother Teresa. Anna has built her “brand” if you will, by exploring the Brave New World of women bloggers who are now making a living and gaining fame by blogging.
That’s her right, and many people, myself included, find it to be a very interesting topic.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t wrap yourself in a cloak of martyrdom and scream “Troll!” every time a person asks a question about money and collect hundreds, thousands, millions of dollars. imho. If you are going to be a professional blogger, then you should be prepared for questions. My clicks and donations are going to people and organizations who are willing to behave professionally and answer polite inquiries. For instance, why was Yahoo involved in this? I’m curious. I’d like to know. How did Heather profit from this? Does she plan to take a charity write-off for her trip? .
That’s my choice. You don’t have to agree with me. I am delighted that women bloggers are gaining fame, money and respect. A rising tide lifts all boats.
Pioneer Woman’s husband and daughters took a charity trip awhile back. I don’t recall exactly what the answers were, but if I recall, they were completely upfront about how the trip was financed. Questions were answered calmly and professionally. I like that. YMMV.
I really don’t get how a spat between bloggers can be considered a “controversy”. Isn’t controversy usually reserved for something along the lines of “Should we raise the debt ceiling?” I think the personalities on both sides of this “issue” need to zoom out a bit. Too much navel gazing. Try channeling those energies towards real (i.e. non-high school popularity contest) issues. This angst, if directed towards issues of substance could make some real change in the world.
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