frugality

Photo by blatera at deviantART

I originally posted this post last year in response to Oprah’s annual “Favorite Things” show which, in 2008, featured gift ideas that cost “next to nothing.” I found the ideas shown on that show really not very good, and in general they supported the idea that homemade gifts suck. I mean, a box covered in pinecones is not something I want, unless Mini makes it for me, and even then it’s probably going to end up in a storage box. As I said last year, I think that to approach the holidays without gratuitous overspending requires us to think, not to glue-gun. So here are the ten realistic ideas I came up with last year for overhauling the holidays, plus a few more that I’ve gathered over the past year. Some will work for you, others won’t, but all of them are better than making silly things that are probably going to show up in somebody else’s trashcan.

1. Go giftless, or save gifts for just the little kids. Half of my extended family has agreed to a “no gifts” policy for the past few holiday seasons. I have a simple dream of this extending to the other half of the family in years to come, but so far negotiations have been at a stalemate. Some people are more attached to the idea of exchanging gifts than are others, but the important part is that we get together and celebrate, not that the festivities are centered around a gift exchange.

   If you do decide to go giftless, it’s probably a wise policy to exclude small children from it, since it’s very tough to explain things like this to kids, particularly if they believe in Santa Claus. On the other hand, there may be no better time than a child’s early years to condition them to a simpler concept of Christmas — this is just one of those parenting things where your mileage may vary. As an adult, not exchanging gifts might seem almost shocking at first, but it will also feel like a huge relief. And going gift-less will not only save you money, it will also save you time (no shopping) and effort (less cleanup). For the treehuggers in my audience, you can even say that going giftless is easier on the environment, since no gifts means no wrapping paper, which means fewer dead trees. Go treeless for Christmas, and you might as well be starring in the next season of Life With Ed.

   So if you can swing it, I highly recommend working out some kind of deal like this with your family, friends, coworkers, et cetera. You may have to be the trailblazer who suggests it, and if so, you will have to decide on the best spin for your family — emphasize that togetherness is most important; lament the over-commercialization of holidays; stress how broke you are; if you or your family is devoutly Christian, gently remind them that Christ was the first Marxist, whatever youthink might work. For particularly stubborn families who celebrate Christmas, youmight suggest a stockings-only policy the first year, if they think it’s too radical to go cold turkey.

2. Choose names. Another way to handle the large/extended/step family situation is to do the thing where you draw a name out of a bag and that’s the one gift you have to buy for the holidays. I’ve been trying to do this for years with my family, but they won’t agree to it, unfortunately. If you do this, then each person only has one gift responsibility, and you can set a price limit if you want. This seems like the best of all worlds, since it still involves gift-giving, and you get time to think about the person you’re giving to, instead of rushing around at the last second and picking up more bath products that the person will not use. And the act of drawing names, along with a large gift-opening ceremony, is precisely the kind of ritual that all of these annual gift-giving holidays are built upon.

3. Set a price limit for gifts and stick to it. You can tell people ahead of time that you want a toned down holiday seasons, and see if they’ll agree to smaller gifts or a price limit. Again, sometimes you have to be the trailblazer in these kinds of situations. Sometimes you have to be willing to say, “Look, money is tight this year, so we are thinking about having a much more scaled down celebration this year.” Most people will appreciate this kind of honesty, especially when it saves them money. So be the brave one. Be the bold one. People will admire you for it, especially these days.
4. Team Up. My brother and I teamed up on gifts for many years for various family members, and this saved me a lot of money and a lot of headaches. Depending on the gift situation, there may be somebody with whom you can team up, split the shopping and go for a slightly less expensive option by teaming up. For example, if you can afford to spend $20 on a step-sibling, you’re stuck with the usual CDs, gift cards, and bath products route. But if you team up, you can get a better gift for the same money, or a slightly better gift for less money per person. Even better: you don’t have to find as many gifts, because you’ve got somebody doing half of the list for you.
5. Wait until December 20th and later to buy gifts. Some of us will probably do this anyway, just out of sheer disorganization. Last year, there were many deep discounts around the time that Christmas got closer, since sales projections for the holiday season were so low. It is likely that things won’t be much better this year, and though this is not a foolproof plan, it’s worth a shot.
6. Consider alternative gifts that involve time rather than money. The old “gift coupon book” idea is one that you can recycle, although in my experience those coupon gifts never actually get used, and because of this they come across as bullshit when you give them. So what I would suggest is a more comprehensive approach–say you have a friend with a new baby. Make arrangements with her husband to take care of the baby for a specific night so they can get out of the house. Have a date already set up, make reservations for them, announce you are coming on that day. A similar tactic could be used for cleaning a friend’s house, doing their laundry, or any other kind of chore–again, have a specific time and day in mind when you offer. Other ideas include: organize a painting party for somebody who just moved into a new home or wants a redo; offer to petsit when your pet-loving friends go on vacation; offer your trade or skill as a gift if this is possible; or organize a dinner for a group of friends in lieu of gifts

7. Look for stores that offer “price adjustments.” I once worked for a major American apparel conglomerate that owns three extremely well-known clothing store chains. The company — as is the case with many large chains–had a policy of offering price adjustments on items that go on sale up until two weeks after you purchase the item, provided you bring in your receipt to get the credit. I don’t know if the company still has this policy, or if it is still two weeks, but it is definitely worth your time to ask the return policy on every item you buy. If a store offers a price adjustment, then wait until a few days before Christmas to gifts from that store, save the receipts, and then go in the day after Christmas (which, yeah, sucks, but saving money is not for the faint of heart!) and get back like 20% on your purchase, since nearly everything goes on sale the day after Christmas.

8. Sell old stuff on Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon, and/or have a Yard Sale to pay for holiday gifts. This one still involves you spending money on gifts, but instead of having all the money come out of your budget or (horror) go on a credit card, commit to raising all of the money for your holiday gifts from selling old stuff. This way, it will feel like found money, and you won’t have to give anything up in order to give presents. But you need to limit yourself to the funds you raise, or else the plan goes out the window.

9. Commit to not using credit cards, no matter what you do. If you are really committing to a financially sane future, your freedom from credit cards is never more important than during the holiday season. So many people buy gifts on credit cards and then have to face the music when they get their bills in January. This year, be OK with letting the Joneses “win.” Don’t use your credit cards–if you still have them–for anything, whatever you do. If you make it through the holiday season with just one idea intact, this is a good one to choose.

10. Ruthlessly pare down your gift list. Sure, it’s nice to bake cookies for your neighbors, or buy your kids’ teachers Starbucks cards. I used to be a teacher, so I know I loved it when I got these little holiday tokens. But we don’t have all this extra money this year, and in my mind, the kindness of the gesture is compromised when it has become an obligation. As things are these days, we are going around giving each other things out of a sense of HAVING TO, and that ruins everything.

    So here’s my radical idea: let’s just stop, OK?

    That’s right, I’ll be the one to finally stand up and say it: FUCK THESE PERIPHERAL GIFT RECIPIENTS! I know it sounds heartless, and I have nothing against spreading holiday cheer in theory. But, wherever possible, you need to save the gifts for people who are truly a part of your day-to-day lives. Some of these people are just not going to make the list this year. Like your hairdresser, for example (You already tip them! They are not your employees, they are service providers, so no more Christmas bonuses! Stop the insanity!), bosses (again, they are supposed to give YOU a bonus, not the other way around), dog washer, dry cleaner, lawyer, broker, whateverthehell. Friends and family only, OK? And yeah, if you have a little extra and you feel like being generous, then fine, but bear in mind that this is how these kinds of things start: one person starts giving their hairdresser a Christmas gift, and then everyone feels like they have to. If you think that they’ll think you’re rude, here’s an idea: Wait until after the holidays are over to go in! But I’m guessing they won’t even notice, anyway.

11. Think big, give small. One of my best friends often gives small gifts, and they are always among the best I receive. She has given me large gifts on occasion, sure, but throughout the time I’ve known her, she’s always been a great gift giver because she figures out exactly what I would like when she goes shopping, and finds things I would never be able to find on my own. One time, she got me a stationery set made out of old New York City subway maps–not only was it green before green was cool, it probably only cost $10 or so. But it was an awesome gift. One time she got me just a magnet, but it was a magnet that had a lot of meaning because of a series of inside jokes that we had going on between us. The way I picture this friend shopping is that she is just always on the alert for things that would please her friends, rather than buying something that seems like “enough” for the occasion. It’s a great way to think about gift-giving in terms of quality and not quantity.

12. Make Customized Photo Albums. Digital photography is fantastic in many ways, but as time goes by, people are keeping fewer and fewer actual photographs. One way to combat this and make a budget-friendly gift is to design a custom photo album and print it up as a gift from your family to both sets of grandparents, the aunts and uncles, etc. Each year, we make a year retrospective book of Mini’s life at blurb and give it to both sets of grandparents and several other people who are close to Mini. These books are really nice, and can be as fancy or as simple as you like — we usually can get a smaller sized hardcover book for around $40, which is not too expensive if you’re talking about a gift for two or more people in one. Other services like Shutterfly and Kodak have photo albums that are even more reasonably priced, though in my experience the ones put out by blurb are far superior to other brands (and I’m not being paid to say this, by the way).
13. Don’t Send Christmas Cards. Do I have to be the one to tell you this? Nobody cares about your Christmas cards. They are just one of those things that you get and then you feel uncomfortable about wanting to throw away. That’s why people string them up on ribbons and shit — they want to make a big thing about how they’re not throwing them away, even though they really want to throw them away. And if you have enough holiday news for a newsletter, maybe it’s time to start a blog for nobody to read. Christmas cards are a big waste of time, money, and paper. Don’t buy them (save money), don’t send them (save more $$) and just don’t worry about it (save hassle).
14. Put a cork on the decorations. You probably have enough decorations already. Don’t buy any more. sure, get a tree. But beyond that, eh. Just work with what you have. Nobody will know the difference.
15. Start saving in January. Is there a line-item for Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) in your budget year-round? There should be. Not only will you end up with the cash to pay for Christmas without using credit cards, you’ll also find that you spend less overall when you’re forced to think about it year round. Use a sub-account in ING for this purpose, and that way you can see how the Christmas fund is growing throughout the year.
16. Stop it with the baking. Listen, we’re all fat. We don’t need to go around handing out cookies to each other at Christmas. If you must bake, at least can it with the fruitcake. Nobody eats that shit except for my grandfather. If you need his address shoot me an email.

4 Comments TWEET THIS Share On Facebook EMAIL THIS

Photo by chickenwallaby at deviantART

Jack FM is a radio station in the Los Angeles area that plays a random mix of songs and employs one of those blasé-voiced announcers who sound like they could give a crap if you want to listen to what they have to say or not. I don’t usually listen to Jack FM, unless the other station, KROQ, doesn’t come in. The other day, I was on a semi-long car drive, and was sick of all of my other music, and had tuned into Jack FM, and a song from my preteen years came on, Billy Idol’s “Eyes Without a Face,” comes on, and it’s one of those songs you only hear when you’re listening to Jack FM, because it hasn’t been a regular on any playlist since 1985 or so. But a funny thing happens when I hear that song, because all of a sudden I’m no longer in my car on the 118 Eastbound, I’m back in the early eighties listening to 45s in my best friend R’s living room. And before you know it, I’m on my iPhone, connecting to iTunes, and downloading a copy of this Billy Idol song, because even if I don’t listen to it very often, it’s something that can take me back to that place in time, and it only costs $1.29, which doesn’t seem like a lot of money to spend for a walk down memory lane.

So this got me thinking about nostagia and how many expenditures are tied to the promises of it. Nostalgia promises an experience of the past that is even better than the first time around, because when we indulge in it, we only look for the absolute best memories, and tend to forget the bad stuff. When I listen to Billy Idol, I don’t remember all the boys on whom I had crushes who didn’t know I existed, I just remember the excitement of my first middle school dance, and the thrill that the prospect of a slow dance might promise.

1. People are taken by nostalgia at strange times, without planning or notice. It’s kind of hard to plan to get nostalgic. Sure, you can plan a trip to your high school reunion, but there’s no guarantee that you’ll be overtaken by fond memories of the past while you’re there. Nostalgia often is triggered by accident — by a song, or a taste of a special food (like Proust’s madeleine cookies), and not when your defenses are up against spending money. I had a nostalgic feeling and within a minute was spending money, thanks to the advances of technology. And I think that, as technology continues to advance, we should expect increasingly easier means of getting access to consumer items when we’re hit by waves of nostalgia.
2. Nostalgia gets you when your defenses against spending are already down. You don’t usually start getting nostalgic when you are in a productive working zone, or focused on some other practical task: nostalgia cannot take hold unless your mind already has some room to wander. So when you’re getting nostalgic, the chances are that you won’t be thinking about all of the various reasons you have to stick to your budget. Instead, you’ll think, like I did, that $1.29 doesn’t seem like a lot of money to spend.
3. There is no means of saving moments in time without the help of an object or other material thing with which it can be associated. It’s hard to remember things without something you can touch to attach to it. This is why people are so hesitant to throw things away: they think that if they throw away that old concert t-shirt, they’re also throwing away the memory of the concert. But nostalgia won’t hit you from a box of souvenirs that are packed up in the closet, so the next time you think about collecting physical tokens of your memories, consider whether you have enough room to keep these pieces of nostalgia anywhere that they’ll be able to do you any good.
4. You can jack up the price on nostalgia without people getting upset. Since nostalgia and the items that trigger it are looked at as part of our precious memories, it’s easy to make these things expensive. This is why Disneyland is so damn expensive: parents know that they are creating memories for their children, and so they will pay exorbitant prices for souvenirs to commemorate them, even if they would scoff at similar prices in a toy store in any other context. But even if it triggers memories, souvenirs are still just material goods, they don’t contain the memories themselves, and there’s no way of knowing that a ticket or a menu won’t be just as effective. Still, try selling that one to your kid.
5. It’s hard to put a price tag on a memory. Similarly, complaining about how much it costs for a piece of nostalgia makes you feel like a jackass. Sure, that souvenir cup at the baseball game has a 500% markup, but can you put a pricetag on your son’s happy childhood memories? Or, better yet, do you want to be the jackass who tried to save a few bucks by bringing a drink from home, and thereby marked yourself as too cheap to finance your children’s fond nostalgia? I guess that’s the question.

1 Comment TWEET THIS Share On Facebook EMAIL THIS